melissa, honey, you dodged a bullet

if you didn't watch this season of the bachelor, you won't care much about this post...come back tomorrow:)

last night, bachelor jason broke up with molly and proposed to melissa. minutes later, on "after the final rose," an unhappy jason revealed that they weren't right for each other, and then he proceeded to break up with melissa on camera. then molly came out, jason asked her for another chance, and they are together instead.

melissa, honey, you dodged a bullet.

jason doesn't know what he wants. he's emotionally immature. what kind of a man proposes to any woman mere moments after sobbing uncontrollably about breaking-up with another?

jason is a huge jerk for breaking up with you on tv, when he had six or more weeks away from the cameras in which to actually be a man and make a decision that wasn't entirely made-for-tv. he's thoughtless and foolish, and you can do better.

also, jason is divorced, which shouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker, but did you even find out why his marriage ended? is he able to make a lifelong commitment, or does he run when things get tough? does he believe that love is only a feeling or emotion, (because that's hardly a foundation on which to build a marriage and a future.)

and honey, why exactly were you in such a hurry to pack up your whole life in dallas to move to seattle to try to fit yourself into jason's already established life and family? maybe you need to figure things out for yourself better first, personally and professionally, in order to find a real love that won't eclipse your identity.

there was a lot of talk about following hearts and how people can't control their hearts, which to a degree is true. i think we don't pick who we're attracted to, and you can't force something that's not there, but people are in complete control over how they treat people.

as a christian, i don't subscribe to the philosophy of following my heart. there is a verse in jeremiah that kept ringing in my ear, "The heart is deceitful above all things" (17:9). my heart is sinful, and it can lead me astray. it can lead me to to justify hurtful or selfish behavior. scripture instead tells us to follow Christ, who may lead us down a path far different from where our hearts want to travel.

scripture also says, "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." God wants to give his children good things and to satisfy our desires, not as we follow our hearts but as we chase after God (psalm 37:4).


Anonymous said...

So well said!

Trisha said...

I am so excited to see your post today! I was freaking out last night as I watched the after the final rose or whatever they call it. I was not only put off by the "ugly" crying Jason did when he sent Molly home, but then couldn't believe that only a few weeks after proposing he is throwing in the towel and pursuing another woman. Not to mention that the other woman barely hesitated before kissing him and being so excited. What am I missing?!

I completely agree with you that you can't control how you feel but you can control how you treat people. Not to mention that loving someone is a choice too and not merely a whimsical feeling. Thanks for taking that awful train-wreck of a show and using it to point to God's word. He can use all things for his good...even trashy reality tv :)

lauren debo said...

lol! i didnt actual watch the bachelor, but i read it about on the yahoo page and i have to say that was really low.

well spoken, suz.

Beth said...

well said... and i don't even watch the bachelor. i think you're so right to say that our hearts can deceive us and lead us astray... and it's so easy to justify the longings of our hearts because the world tells us that we deserve anything we want. so true that to really be blessed, we should be pursuing God's desires, not our own. great post.

Angie said...

Amen and Amen!!

Stef said...

ha, i don't watch the bachelor, but i love me some tv drama as much as the next red blooded american! dang, that's cold.

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