the firstborn and the baby

as dylan is not yet three, she's too little for vacation bible school this summer.  similarly, pre-school isn't in her immediate future, but i find myself strangely eager for her to have those experiences and disappointed that her fall birthday makes her miss out.

she is a sociable, independent little thing who would love vbs, but she's two and a half:  dylan doesn't know what she's "missing."  [songs?  graham crackers?]  sliding boards, library books, and other simple joys are more than sufficient in this season of life.  dylan has plenty of time for the experience of school.  why am i in such a hurry?

as my firstborn, each of dylan's milestone is a first for me, too.  although i don't want to be that parent living vicariously through her child, her firsts are our family's firsts, and there is something exciting about that.

i'm also starting to realize that i feel differently about james.  last week, he cut two little teeth, and i actually felt sad.  my sweet boy is nine months old, and that gummy infant smile is disappearing. 

acknowledging this in type feels ridiculous.  of course kids grow.  it's not something to be rushed or mourned--it just is.

i know that.  i certainly don't want to miss today wishing dylan into The Next Thing, but my heart will ache a little as that toothless grin fades away.

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