Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;
And all the clouds that low'r'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

Richard The Third Act 1, scene 1, 1–4

while life was never exactly dark and twisty, this year opened with a difficult chapter, new baby and all.

people say that having that first baby rocks your world, but i knew our lives would change forever with baby #1 and was as ready as one can be.  i'd read all about childbirth, breastfeeding, and development.  i'd poured over consumer reviews.  dylan was named before we even knew for sure that she was a girl.  all her tiny things were washed and organized and ready for her arrival into the world.  we'd waited five years and were ready.

i'm not going to say that one baby was easy, because i wasn't, but it seems to me that you don't do much parenting that first year: you just love your baby the best way you know and try not to let them break.  (anyone else feel like that?)

motherhood felt pretty natural.  and then i had a second baby, and the transition knocked me flat on my ass.

when james came home, i didn't have the luxury of holding him all day long, snuggling and nursing and napping and watching entire tv seasons on dvd.  this time around i had a needy infant and an extraordinarily busy toddler.  we were snowed in for months, jim traveled, and sometimes days went by without adult interaction.  or showers.

i was lonely and overwhelmed and in over my head.

but seasons change.  babies (and mamas) grow.  snow melts.  there is growth and change and life.

The fear of the LORD leads to life:
Then one rests content, untouched by trouble  (Proverbs 19:23).

trouble persists, present as always, but there is contentment in the chaos.  God is faithful:  my ever-present help in trouble

we have good days and bad days:  ours is not a picture of domestic bliss and i'm no supermom.  life is a beautiful mess.  an awkward, joyful dance.

and we're finding our rhythm.

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