beneath the surface {creating communities for which our hearts long}

are you coming to girls' night tonight? she asked with a smile.

my only plans involved my couch. where? i wondered, heart expectant. was this my chance to finally connect?

ohh. she paused awkwardly. she invited so many people, i just assumed...

and that was that.


it can be so hard to break in, can't it?  it's not like people wear signs around their neck saying Have Enough Friends, Thanks or Too Busy To Get To Know You.

or Lonely, for that matter.

sarah wrote a blazing indictment of women's ministries that struck a chord with many:
We are hungry for authenticity and vulnerability, not churchified life hacks from lady magazines. Some of us are drowning, suffocating, dying of thirst for want of the cold water of real community. We're trying really hard - after all, we keep showing up to your lady events and we leave feeling just a bit empty. 
how do we move beyond chitchat with acquaintances to real intimacy, friendship and understanding?  how do we find and create the kinds of places where we feel free to let down our guard?  how can we become the people who welcome and love and serve and dig in and grow together?  the women who live grace and ask hard questions and answer truth and share our very lives--not just the shiny parts?

it's not easy with little ones afoot.  someone's always crying or demanding and it's time to go and we've barely gotten past hello. seasons turn, another year goes by, and we don't know each other any better.

creating community is no easy task, but it's not an impossible one.  i can't wait until my kids are grown.  although weary of trying, giving up is the worse choice by far.

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